Cultivating friendship in mud houses
Friendship is a precious and sometimes subtle gift that starts from within. It is the Dance Movement Therapist’s (DMT’s) job to cultivate the ground from which trust for friendship can arise. For over 7 years a Dance Movement Therapy (DMT) group was held at an Adult Rehabilitation Residential Treatment Center in Colorado. The group can be described in this way. The Dance Movement Therapist's approach evolves from the specific needs of the individuals in the group however there are common threads by which the trust and learning are cultivated in each group.
The first thread consists of °listening and observing non-judgmentally.° Participants are invited to slow down and observe themselves, tuning their ears to physical feelings, sensations, inner tensions and impulses. The DMT observes and utilizes the inner experience and awareness of the body as well. She asks, "How are we already expressing who we are and how we feel through our posture, gestures, and facial expressions?" The DMT initiates the listening and sharing by cultivating an environment in which personal expression is welcomed and accepted. There is an opportunity for each participant to check in and put into words and/or movement his or her feelings and thoughts in the moment.
From openly °listening and observing°, the next thread in cultivating friendship from within, in becoming friends with ourselves involves, °joining with the thematic material° being expressed. For example, if a sense of isolation is being expressed, the DMT may °join with° that experience by physicalizing the sense of isolation; she may have participants curl up tightly and wrap their own arms around themselves as if retreating into a ball. What begins as a way to isolate becomes a way to gather-in, self nurture, and experience one's own warmth. The DMT literally joins the participant in his movement expression and shows him that he has a friend who can share that feeling. °Joining with° the thematic material may feel intense because it is so personal and the need may be great. (Sometimes the acceptance may even bring tears.) The DMT touches into the thematic material and also draws attention to the areas of body and of experience in which health is already being expressed. For example, isolation, fear, and rigidity may be feelings in the chest area while simultaneously strength and flexibility can be felt and expressed in the legs. The DMT selects music to fit to the mood of the group and facilitates the group participants in warming-up their bodies from head to toe to include All of Themselves, thus acknowledging through direct experience that intensity and ease can co-exist in our bodies.
Once the body is warmed-up and an experience of health is generated, the group can return to working with more challenging themes that were emerging. In Dance Movement Therapy, this technique is called, °Exploring the Theme°. In exploring the theme, our friendship with ourselves is deepened. The DMT asks participants to investigate further by physicalizing and problem solving regarding their thematic material. The DMT might ask, "How would you find connection from this feeling of isolation? How would you find lightness from this feeling of heaviness, motivation from this feeling of lethargy, courage from this feeling of fear, or strength from this feeling of weakness?” The DMT holds the belief that within the problem, there lies the seed for the solution. Through direct physical experience, the participant may discover for example that his feeling of lethargy and heaviness grounds and protects him and ultimately enables him to reach out to others to begin to form genuine interpersonal relationships. This trust can be encouraged for example by animating the construction of a mud house for each participant, into which one can hide as needed and emerge when ready. The DMT listens and observes, joins with, and explores through movement and words. Inspired by the simple joys of movement, music, and sharing, participants find their own ways to blossom and reach out towards friendship.
